Creation of Brenden October Slay (part three... the birthday)

It's been almost four months since I had the baby and I can remember the pain and joy like it was an hour ago. It all seems like a blur though in a lot of ways but there are some odd details that stand out more than others. Like the fact that after the baby was born and I got to hold him for a few moments and they cleaned him up and Dave left to accompany him to the nursery, my Mom and I were left alone in the room with the t.v. on "What Not to Wear". I am sitting there in the bed with my legs numb from the epidural staring at the t.v. dumbfounded at what just happened. I was oddly interested in the woman being made over... maybe because it's a dumb enough show that my brain could understand it while operating at half capacity from the drugs?

The day started with me being admitted to the hospital at 5:00 p.m the night before to have Cervidil administered to complete the effacement process. My Doctor was kind enough to allow me to be induced at 39 weeks to the date because the baby had dropped and everything looked great. I thought I could wait for him to come naturally but I was wrong. By the time I was 37 weeks, I was ready to have the eviction notice served. Those last weeks were miserable! After I was admitted, the nurse checked me to see how much I was effaced and she had this look on her face like she thought I was crazy to be there. She so politely told me she didn't think I was anywhere near effaced enough to be induced and that I shouldn't be surprised if the baby didn't come the next day. I guess she thought she knew more than the Doctor did and didn't care that she had just deflated my excitement down to nothing. Great bedside manners!! I thought.. "well what the hell am I doing here then?"

She inserted the medication and David left to get my Mom at the airport who was flying in from Salt Lake City. I was told that the medication doesn't induce labor like Pitocin (which I would be given in the morning) but it softens one's cervix thus completing the effacement process. With that in mind, I settled into the really uncomfortable bed for a night of anticipation. They had me hooked up with two monitors - one for the contractions and one that checks the baby's heartbeat. Every time I would get up to go to the bathroom (which they sort of discouraged as to not dislodge the Cervidil) I would have to unplug the cords from the monitors, wheel the i.v. into the bathroom and pray I didn't sit on all the cords when I sat on the toilet! Thanks to the i.v. drip constantly pumping my body full of fluid, I had to use the bathroom about every two hours. They had given me a sleeping pill but sleep was elusive that night -the blood pressure cuff automatically inflated every hour as to jar any sort of dozing that I was getting and the nurse had to come in and adjust the monitors every time I switched sides to sleep which was about every 30 minutes due to the lovely bed. Never mind the fact 'who can sleep when they know they are having a baby in a few hours!!"

About 3:00 a.m I noticed there was some pretty heavy cramping going on. In my delusional state, I thought it was just the Cervidil working. It wasn't until the nurse came in at 5:00 a.m. to take the medication out and check me that I found out I had started dilating and was already at a 3! No wonder it hurt so bad! The nurse asked why I hadn't asked for any pain medication during the night and was surprised when I said that I hadn't realized that the pain was labor actually starting. This was a different nurse than Ms. Ratchett that I had earlier in the evening ~thank God.. this one was actually very nice. Maybe my luck was changing?? Yes indeed it was.

This is the point where things get a bit hazy. Since the nurse offered some pain relief, I gladly accepted it. She told me what I could have was a shot through the i.v. of 'something that will just take the edge off ." Sounds pretty harmless, eh? I don't know what the med was but it knocked my socks off. I had originally just wanted the epidural so that what was left of my mental state could be maintained but she told me I couldn't get my epidural until my water broke which was different from what my Doctor had told me. He said I could get it whenever I felt I needed it but since he hadn't seen me yet that morning, I felt at the mercy of the nurse. After they put the medication into the i.v., I called Dave to wake him and my Mom up and have them come over sooner than 7:00 a.m which we originally planned on. He told me later that I sounded pretty out of it. I am sure it was pretty funny. Luckily they were up and ready and were by my side in about 20 minutes. David said he could not sleep anyway.

Doctor Caceras came in at 6:00 a.m and saw how fast I was dilating and broke my water for me. I asked if I could have my epidural but was told the Anesthesiologist was busy giving other epidurals at the moment. WTF? I guess it was a busy time of the morning for such a request! They started the Pitocin at 7:00 a.m and I think I was dilated to a 4 or 5 by then. The nurse said it would be several hours until I would be ready for delivery and at least an hour until I would get my epidural, so David and my mother left for 20 minutes to grab some breakfast then were back right by my side. By the time the Anesthesiologist came in I think it was around 8:00 a.m and I tried joking with him about how he was the most popular man at the hospital and he mumbled something with a thick accent without as much as a smile. So much for trying to lighten the mood! Epidurals are very strange things. You can actually feel your legs going to sleep and becoming numb. What a surreal thing. My Doctor told me I would still feel the urge to push when I needed to but I can tell you that I didn't feel any urge. It's like pooping without the urge to poop. A strange way to describe it but that's the closest way I can.

After they gave me the epidural, things settled down a bit. About an hour later I felt really tired and asked my Mom and Dave to let me nap for a short time. I think they thought I was crazy but they left the room. I remember the nurse coming in to check me (followed in trail by David and my Mother..they had left for 15 minutes). It seems I dilated to a 10 by 9:30 a.m because the nurse greeted me with a surprised look that I had progressed so quickly. She adjusted the bed, placed David gripping the back of my neck with his left hand and my right foot with his right hand to assist me, and said "Let's do a practice push." Push I did. Two big practice pushes and then she said "I had better get Dr. Caceras because it's time." Time for what? I thought I was going to be there all day in labor. I was thinking he would be born at 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon and here it was barely 9:30 a.m.

A full cast of personnel swarm in the room, and in about 30 seconds my comfortable abode was turned into something that looked like an episode of MASH. The next thing I know Dr. Caceras is telling me to push (for real) and I am pushing as hard as I can but I can't tell if it's hard enough or too much. Dave was telling me to breath in between the pushes because apparently I was holding my breath and just pushing and pushing. Weird that one has to be told to breath! The Doctor told me he needed to give "just a little snip" and my heart sank. I really really didn't want to have an episiotomy but it was out of my hands at that point. I think my eyes grew like two saucers when he said that - do you know they use scissors?? Egads.

Two pushes (or maybe three I can't remember) and he was born.. just like that! 9:49 a.m. Under three hours from when they gave me the Pitocin. I told the Doctor to tell the nurse that told me I would probably be unsuccessful to shove it up her a$$. Well o.k not in those terms but he did get my drift. He laughed and agreed.

The baby had a small problem breathing at first so they took him in the corner and fixed him up. Dave likes to say that I immediately quizzed the Doctor on how big of a cut he had to do on me.. but rest assured I did ask how the baby was and when they told me he was fine, I then quizzed the Doctor on the size of the cut. We got to hold him for a few minutes before they took him to the nursery for a proper bath and Dave got to follow. That was when my Mom and I watched 'What not to Wear' that I mentioned at the first of the post.

The whole thing was such a wonderful blur of ups and downs. I have never in my life experienced so many emotions in such a short period of time. I know that it sounds cliche but that really was the best day of my life.. hands down. I can't wait to see how he grows up and what sorts of things he loves. What his destiny may be. It is a mystery that I long to unravel and am excited and scared at the same time to see it happen. I love you my little boy and I hope life is long and good to you. It took a long time to have you here and we wouldn't have changed a thing. We love you so very much and we can't wait to see you blossom into your destiny.